Cease Your Incessant Kissing!

Why do I bring this up? Spring of course. The time of year when people's hearts and minds turn to love. In all fairness, there's no guarantees that it's actually spring yet, as it tends to snow randomly into June, but people are hopeful. The effect is the same. I was thinking about this, as I walked around campus. There are substantially more smiling people, substantially more male to female interactions, and substantially more hand holding and the like. But why? What about spring makes us all so twitter-patted? Some say it's just the good weather. People are happy and coming out of the winter blues, and that equates to romance and increased social interaction. Others say spring is the time of love and it's just the way it is. I have a different theory. It's because we're reminded what each other look like. Classy as fall and winter fashion is, it's not the same as spring and summer. That is not to say that people are wandering around falling out of their clothes. But all of a sudden, the weather is warm, the coats, boots, hats, scarves, parkas, and face-masks go back in storage, and we go, "Oh yeah! That's what a male/female looks like!" We remember and then we like it. And thus, we all go ga-ga and get twittered-patted and pathetic. Nothing to do with beauty and romance and hopeful ideals. Nah, our hormones just remind us what we like about the other sex. Now. Spring, love, romance. Kissing. I accidently sat across from an engaged couple in a study area. This, was a bad plan, as I did not yet understand the consequences of my actions. Little did I know. I understand that they're madly in love, that they do not see each other much or often, and that they must wait to get married and that life is hard and stressful and love is beautiful and exciting. But! If I were to dictate their conversation it would go something like: How was your day kiss It was fine kiss How was your day kiss You seem stressed kiss Do you want to talk about it kiss No I'm not stressed kiss Did you call your parents kiss No kiss You should do that kiss Probably kiss Do you want to take a trip between this time and this time kiss Meh kiss and etc. Point is. There is no punctuation, as the kissing fulfilled that function just fine. I admire their love and stuff and stuff. But I've decided kissing is an incredible annoying noise. Not when oneself is engaged in the activity; it's kind of in the back of your mind. But when you're trying to do calculus, it's incredibly frustrating. And so, to all those engaged or newly wed couples, sitting on top of each other and punctuating your conversations with kisses in study areas and places of the sort, I would kindly ask you, to cease your incessant kissing.