Think Digestive Thoughts

You know that feeling when you've completely overstuffed yourself and you feel fat? Not like, "Oh I'm such a pig and I am grotesquely obese and I look fat" fat, but like, "Go my oodness my stomach is distended and I feel fat" fat. Yeah, that happens to me frequently. And of course, whenever this happens one must so say with the phrase, "I am feeling fat, and sassy" (because some of us can't avoid being sassy). So I was out with my engineering friend for dinner at a delicious restaurant (Banana Leaf. Super good. Go there.), and I ate tons of food really good. So then I was like, "I am feeling fat, and sassy." And he says, "Just think digestive thoughts." I laughed. Because that's hilarious. But then I began to think. And the more I thought about, the more I liked it. I eventually came to the conclusion that it was brilliant. In fact, it should be the new way to lose weight. I mean people are all about having healthy metabolisms, or getting their metabolism started in the morning with a good breakfast and stuff of that sort. So mind over matter, right? Think digestive thoughts. Think enough, and you can make your body digest more and better. Who needs a naturally speedy and healthy metabolism? Who  needs liposuction?  Using the power of our thoughts, we can become slim, healthy people. Easiest and least expensive weight loss product ever. Kind of like FDR did his fireside chats, we can have Michelle Obama do a weekly Digestive Thoughts program. That would help tremendously with our nation's obesity problem. And then we can make apps and programs for our smart phones and tablets to guide our digestive thoughts. Then we can move from digestive thoughts to active thoughts. We can think about running, swimming, dancing, football, etc. to complement our good digestion. Then we can think thoughts about thinking to make ourselves smarter too. We can do anything if we just believe. So, let's get started thinking ourselves some digestive thoughts.